THE KILLER KIDS

13-09-2006

Come from a dysfunctional family? Join the club. Cool Hand Luke is a son in the unusual and painful position of having to give his father some advice…

In the past 6 months my dad and his wife (who's not my mum) have had 2 heart attacks and 3 cancer scares combined. Judging by their love for all things nicotine and alcohol based, it takes little digging to realise that it's down to excessive living, but why?

Less than a decade ago they were proud, working class people with an appetite for life and a nurturing approach to their children. Since then, though, my brother has turned into a sly, parasitic heroin addict, and my step-mum's son into a pill-popping, money scavenging, jobless dope. With that, their pride has switched to ‘pity', and their bodies to ‘self-destruct.'

How sad it is that many parents above the age of 40 are suffering the same symptoms because their post-teen children refuse to try making it on their own. The thieving, the arguments and the non-thanked parenting drives them to depression and submission. It's a situation where the children take and they…just ache.

The home becomes divided, one parent in the living room, the other in the kitchen, only coming together once the effects of whisky, wine and lager that they have guzzled since getting home from work kicks in. Private tears and one way conversations….the unity of love is destroyed by their pain…..

…….These children are slowly killing their parents.

All over the country, we hear of these tear-away yobs and ‘hoodies' falling into drugs and crime, NEVER is there a story of their parents heartache, only reports that their mums and dads are benefit-scrounging layabouts who care more for their Burberry than their bouncing boys and girls. What is the parents view? Does nobody seem to care?

What happened to ‘Life begins at 40', the time where children are supposed to be blazing their own path, as parents head towards that once distant retirement dream? I recently read an article entitled, ‘Life Now Begins at 50.' Maybe my family's experience explains why.

As a 21 year old son of a once charismatic father, I'd advise all parents who are trying to ‘repair' their post-teen children as if they were toddlers, to “LOOK AFTER NUMBER 1.”

As naïve as it sounds to tell people who have probably lived my life twice or three times over to stop trying to hold on to adult-children who refuse to grow up, please remember there are also the other children, the brothers and sisters of the ones breaking their parent's hearts. Those who want them to be happy, want them to be proud, and most importantly, want them to live.

Life does not begin at the convenience of your kids - let it start NOW……before it's too late.

DOES LUKE'S STORY STRIKE A CHORD WITH YOU? DO YOU KNOW A FAMILY WHERE PARENTS PUT THEIR KIDS INTEREST AHEAD OF THEIR OWN EVEN INTO THEIR 50'S, 60'S AND 70'S? JOIN IN ON THE MESSAGEBOARD