UMPIRE DARRELL'S HAIR RAISING OFFER -

The Stirrer's Brummie Blog for Friday

25-08-2006

Blimey - can you believe it? Controversial umpire Darrel Hair offers to quit for half a million dollars over the Pakistan ball-tampering row......

Never mind quit.

The man should have the thwack of willow administered to his backside by Freddie Flintoff on his way to being tonked out of the sport forever.

Those of us who've supported Hair in the dispute at the final test have done so, not because he necessarily made the right decision at the Oval but because getting it (honestly) wrong is the prerogative of the official.

Cricket above all sports has made a fetish of fair play and sportsmanship - and that means readily accepting decisions even if you think they're incorrect.

Hair's behaviour now - lamely excused by the claim that he was “under pressure” - will give succour to those on the sub-continent who've ascribed sinister motives to his behaviour all along.

You can hear the arguments now; he had a downer on Murali the great Sri Lankan spinner; he's always had it in for Pakistan; and now he wants to cash in on the controversy that he helped to engineer.

The man, they will say, simply can not be trusted.

It's a disingenuous line of argument not least because however badly Hair behaved during last Sunday's match (and let's face it we don't yet know whether he was right or wrong) Pakistan's behaviour was even worse.

By refusing to emerge after tea they cheated paying fans of the entertainment they had paid for, and robbed their supporters of a probable victory.

Hair though, like an overweight limbo dancer trying to wriggle lower than a snake's belly, has gone one worse.

Never mind turning a drama into a crisis; he tried turning a crisis into a pension.

It's just not cricket - in fact it's closer to extortion, and shatters any remaining credibility he might have had in the international game.

Pakistan will surely get what they want now - the retirement of Darrel Hair; and quite rightly so.

But you fear that his astonishing behaviour makes it less likely that cricket fans will get what they want - a sport where the decisions of officials are respected and accepted without question.

Sorry, Mr Hair but true cricket fans will now be raising a single digit in your direction - and it won't necessarily the umpire's traditional index finger.

Either way, you are "out".