VIKING HELL

31-08-2007

Calls for apologies for slavery have led to some lively exhanges on our Message Board. Now we've been sent this contribution. Tasteless satire? Or an on the spot observation? You decide.

KØRN LIVINGSTRØOM CRYING.

‘Lårdmåre’ (General Secretary of the Scandinavian League) Kørn Livingstrøom on the day held to mark the 1000th. Anniversary of the abolition of Viking Raids into Europe and beyond. (Thor’s day 30th )

He cried when recounting the massive scale of ‘Slaughter’, ‘Pillage’, and ‘Rape’, committed by the obviously ‘Captivalist’ Viking hordes who descended on the shores of England, Ireland, Wales, and Scotland, to take ‘captive’ the Christian inhabitants sometimes even as far as to Vinland (MASS) .

He reported on how these Vikings frequently picked ‘monks’ and ‘priests’ as their victims, slaughtering them (or worse) when they were at prayer.

He has now agreed that the Governments of Denmark, Sweden, and Norway, can be approached for compensation over these ‘disgraceful’ attacks.

Applications should be made to Rev. Jöerzy Jårkson, Church of the latter đay Beserkers, Copenhagen, Denmark V 1k 1 NG, where they will be dealt with speedily, requiring only the name of the ancestor attacked, their address at the time, date of birth, whether or not (regardless of preference) they were made pregnant, and what was the value of the ‘goods’ pillaged in groats (1 groat = 10.25 Krøne).

Social status is important too, as more money will be paid for a ‘freedman’ (5 groats) than a ‘serf’ or ‘peasant’ (Ø groats) , and even more for a ‘Housecarl’ and wife (25,000 groats) – a Viking frequently had his groats after all.

These applications will have Kørn Livingstrøom’s full tearful support. (see above.)