What strange and troubled times we live in
It’s so difficult to know where to begin
We have MP’s sharing expenses with the nation
during times of well-documented recession
And then when we hear of reported reductions in crime
we get vouchers for DIY home-security
But when one such MP’s partner did it himself
it all got messy in the papers and on TV
because using personal expenses claims forms
for x-rated entertainment is derided with scorn
Perhaps all he needed was a guiding hand
in how to categorise his taste in porn
At least it was only in one property Jackie
and not the two for you we all have to stand
Perhaps you should’ve put yourself out
and got that security boss a brief case from Leatherland
You know the bloke with only a clipboard and memo
Save him wearing that red shamed face
as he seemed such a trusting sort of fellow
I don’t think anyone would’ve thought it bad taste
And in some other strange local dimension
we have others saving face and pension
The public inconvenience that lacks credibility
is now a sixty-odd million pound public bar
It’s biggest selling point was selling cheap booze
Let’s face it what was left to lose?
Strange when the ruling party is trying to mop up
the cost of drink fuelled incapacity lock-ups
driven by medical reports on weight and mortality
Is this really the best use of time and space
for making a public exhibition of yourselves?
Though it has to be said
this ugly bug building full of alternative reality
misfiring it’s outdated weapons of mass virtuality
has now finally made the ultimate deal
when all the ales that they sold there
were the only things they had that were real!
So with all this time being taken up
in news coverage and by column inch
perhaps it’s time to wake up
give ourselves a pinch because
anyone would’ve thought the planet was safe
from the ravages of famine and war
but it proves to us all and only goes to show
that we’re never really safe from political ego
