Blind Dave's Blog

BOGGIES AND FALSIES

23-06-2007

It's been a light week on the running front, allowing Blind Dave to get on with building the "penthouse" in back garden in West Brom. It's actually a wendy house cum greenhouse. Not bad for a bloke who can't see.

Hi Stirrers

Over the past week we have been blessed with a couple of births in the family - baby Eve and baby Joshua. What is more amazing than these little miracles is the questions we got from our two little ones, especially the bit about breast feeding - answer that one if you can.

I wasn’t there at the time but Debb told me our girls were all eyes for the baby until out came the breasts, or boogies as our girls call them They were transfixed.

Their little noses were that close, you’d have thought they were going to join in and apparently their eyes were as big as saucers. The statement was made: “Mom, she’s like a cow, the baby is sucking her boogies for milk!”

What do you say to that? To be fair she’s right in a way. Still it gave us something to have a laugh about. The innocence is lovely. There’ll be no sex lessons in this house until they reach double figures, then we’ll see.

It’s always nice to have a family chat over breakfast and now that Georgie-lee is of the age where her reading is coming on in leaps and bounds and her maths is getting quite good too, I gave her the wisdom of my many years of experience.

Chatting away trying to explain the simple ways of adding up and hopefully making the task easier and more enjoyable, I got quite carried away and thought my explanations were very good.

However, Debb was in fits of laughter. I was not amused as my concentration was on overdrive but when Debb calmed down she explained - I was aiming my conversation at little Dannie.

Georgie-lee had, unbeknown to me, walked off and I was giving both barrels to Dannie, who Debb said was sat looking at me with eyes of amazement, the breakfast spoon poised just before her lips - and a look of horror as if to say “does Dad think I’m taking my A levels today or what?”

Dannie was horrified at this mathematical dilemma and I was gob smacked as my star pupil had walked off. Still it started off the day with a great laugh. Dannie always reminds me who’s sitting next to me now at meal times - the pressure for her little brain must have been too much!

We also had Nanny Anne stay overnight and when we have anyone stopping, the girls make them the centre of attraction.

First thing in the morning, whether they like it or not, they are woken early, books out, toothbrushes fetched and carried. Then they looked at Nan and realised some thing was different.

Nan, the previous evening had popped her false teeth into a glass. To the girls this was certainly some thing different indeed. Of course they’d never come across this before. Isn’t life such a learning curve, especially at 4 and 5?

“Nan why are your teeth in a glass?”

“Because mine are false and I take them out at night” she replied.

“But Dad or Mom don’t take their teeth out at night, they brush them” came the innocent reply.

I tried to save Nan explaining by shouting the girls for breakfast, but although she got dressed, washed and brushed her hair, the two little ones were going nowhere until those teeth went in.

What a week, what with babies and boogies, maths lessons for the wrong pupil and now teeth from a glass. Still they live and learn and it puts a smile on your face and that’s worth all the tea in China - especially as I like coffee.

Talk about home alone, I can’t believe they all went and left me for the weekend. Debb was off to Bridgewater and a hen weekend - mind the four of them that went, it was more like an old mother hen’s weekend, (that’s it I’m in trouble again).

The theme was pink and listening to them, the mind boggles. Anyway, with Mom off I said to the girls “what’s it to be? A weekend helping Dad or do you want to spend a little time at Nanny Joyce’s?”

The two cheeky monkeys said, “See you on Sunday afternoon Dad.” Have you ever had the feeling you’re not wanted? So the pink ladies went south and Georgie-lee and Dannie went sort of north and I was left with Wicksie and the “penthouse” to get on with. Even Wicksie curled up in his basket. Charming.

The sun was hot and I got burnt, but I pressed on regardless. I lathed all the spindles for the balcony, sanded and drilled and to my surprise it went together lovely.

I made the steps up, nice and chunky, to take all the abuse from the kids and I was quite surprised with my efforts. Everything went to plan, as I wanted to get things finished for when the kids came home. I thought something was bound to go wrong, but I was pleased.

The reaction I got when the kids came home was “WOW! Dad it’s absolutely fantastic” as they raced up the steps and onto the balcony, that was worth all the sweat, every splinter, cutting my fingers, a red back and being left alone to do my own dinners.

In fact it was better than winning the lottery, the tone of their voice said it all and boy did I enjoy a pint that night. Still more to do but I’m determined the pent house will be finished for Georgie-lees birthday.

Before I sign off must tell you this. Lesley, the real oldie of the bunch on the hen party, must suffer with Alzheimers. In her moment of freedom, on the way down to Bridgewater, she was eyeing up the talent as they travelled down the motorway.

She was waving and winking at the lads in the car adjacent, in the traffic jam, but couldn’t understand why they didn’t react. I’m told it was because she was wearing very dark sunglasses.

I rest my case - no wonder she’s still single. I’m sure those lads thought she had come out of the Looney Bin - so once again it was chicken and no stuffing for dinner!

I’m glad I had more success with the penthouse; mind, after Debb reads this it might just turn into the doghouse. Good job I’m making it watertight and draft proof, it could be that I get to experience a sleep over!

Hope you had a lovely weekend my sweet - this is creeping Blind Dave signing off till next time. I’ve got a feeling those dark glasses may come in handy.

As well as being a great carpenter and an unpoprular husband, Dave Heeley is preparing to run seven marathons in seven days on seven continents next year to raise money for Guide Dogs For The Blind. To find out how you can help visit www.justgiving.com/777