POETS CORNER

WITH THE COMING OF AGE

02-10-2006

Can we call thethe ban onage discrimination which came into force yesterday as"new" without actually breaking the law? Probably not, says The Stirrer's resident poet Brendan Hawthorne. Hmmm, where does this leave Old Father Time? Or the Fine Young cannibals?

With The Coming of Age

It was the same with smoking

Ban it in the work place first

and it will soon filter through

into all aspects of social life

And now in the New Age

age has become a thing of

the past in the offices and

workshops of democracy and

political correctness

Terminology and policy make it

so that phrases like ‘old git'

or indeed ‘old codger'

will now need to be replaced

with the put down ‘git - or codger -

of indeterminable status'

Memories will also need to be

kept out of day to day chit-chat

as this could be deemed insulting

to those who are numerically

challenged on the years front

or put another way

deficient in annage

In essence talking about

the past or the good old days

is dangerous as it

could be termed as harassment

and not banter

by the faint-hearted in the Shires

However the new law still allows

the exploitation years for

those under twenty-one

The minimum wage is not for them

and it defaults pension-age

to sixty-five for all before

the delete button

can be fully depressed so that

cradle-to-grave adopts a new spin

because now the labour market

is saturated with the potential

of skill or ability

not experience and knowledge

Or put another way those who

are gullible and cheap will

go a long way towards

long service awards

that are due within five years

without there needing to be

an engraved carriage clock

or gold watch in sight

Perhaps birthdays should be ignored next

along with button badge cards

with ‘I am 40' emblazoned on them

or even pipe and slipper

retirement stereotypes could be replaced

with ‘Lazy bastard! What you want to leave

work at ninety-five for?' sentiments

Let's face it you always were

a jammy git of indeterminable status!

Copyright 2006 Brendan Hawthorne

Find out more about Brendan and regular poetry readings at www.wednesburypoets.co.uk