Poets Corner

GREEN FINGERS AND A RED FACE

19-03-2007

The Stirrer's resident poet Brendan Hawthorne casts a sideways glance at the current obsession with all things green.

The blood red rose is wilting

in greenhouse gas emissions

An environment of hot air

and special procedure commissions

Pot plants seem to be doing best

under heat intense sun ray lamps

Bumping up the electricity bill

beyond most people's saving stamps

The glaciers have been shrinking

for the last several thousand years

I don't think that a standby remote

is really the greatest of our fears

And with all this global warming

why do we need to insulate from the cold?

Because pretty soon it'll be sweltering

if I understand what I'm being told

Brown builds on his taxes year on year

with a carefree yet prudent desire

Suggesting domestic achievement percentages

now that the family car is a social pariah

The Blue Corner wants holiday flights

to be weighted by user allowance

As the nanny state pendulum swings

in a see-saw ratings war dalliance

This little service sector country

with no mates left in the playground

Pushes the big brothers' global economy

but not so much as to rattle the pound

Licensed under liberty and freedom

nuclear arms are now back in the race

Talk about safety and security

when security can't keep cons in their place

So blank out your windows

bang loudly upon the drum

‘Cause the Carbon Police are coming

having taken over the political asylum