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Poet's Corner FED UP ON BREAD 25-02-2008
The Stirrer’s poet laureate Brendan Hawthorne is on a diet – and can’t you just tell? He’s complaining - in his broadest Black Country accent - that thick sliced bread has lost some of its bulk too. Wot an they gon un dun ter thick sliced bread? Yo think abaht it usin yer loaf not yer yed It used ter be heavy un doughy un dower stop thick Whenever yo wuz hungry it usually did the trick Yo ad a piece o beef drippin when yo wuz too clammed ter speak Usually when yo gorrin from skewel all paersty un weak There doe seem ter be anything in it at all these days Un I ay too bothered wot the health expert says They say they’m fillin everythin’ ahrt with fresh air un empty spaerce For the good o me health un the rest o the human raerce But yo try un find a tin or a bloomer wi absolutely nothin tekken out Yo just woe find a traditional un loaded wi salt un sugar un fat about Not like the ones thowd uns ad ter keep fer a wik Ter saerve um scraepin their top plaerte or gi in the false teeth a pick Or they’d moan abahrt th’eartburn, indigestion un flux In the days befower faddy diets cholesterol un flab bustin books Yo see our staerple diet is now presented like politics All wrapped up an as light as air un chock full o advertising gimmicks Un doe get me started on talking abahrt th’upper crust Cos bein soft raerned th’edges is quite frankly, simply the wust! Copyright Brendan Hawthorne 2008 |
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