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POETS CORNER.....................MOAN-OPOLY

25-09-2006

Monopoly has now been re-versioned to cater to the town of Ipswich, but instead of the "Go To Jail" card, it's "Go To Norwich" instead. Better than being sent to Coventry in our opinion, but The Stirrer's resident poet Brendan Hawthorns sees the change as another unwelcome turn for the worse in modern Britain.

Moan-opoly

Britain has become the sale-room game board

of the rest of the world

Its industry lies washed up in brown-field

re-development complexes

Maggie's service sector promise

has moved to another corner of the world

our landmark trademarks

dismantled and placed in museums

to be mused over like freak-show caged animals

Rules and regulations crowd out

the out-of-work community

Do not pass sixteen-hour maximum

Receive minimum wage only

Take a chance but do not exceed

overdraft or credit card limits

or you may lose your home

on a special-offer secured loan

The jails are full and Ipswich is

sending its unfortunate dice rollers to Norwich

Utilities are dispatched to global bidders

The impact on pensioners no-one considers

Brown plays the bill on healthcare devolution

and hides it in the headlines to avoid further confusion

Russia and America fight for dominance

on extra-time cold-war heated premiership pitches

and English football is made up of international elevens

so that team sheets read like a la carte menus

whilst its jewel in the crown home continues

to remain unbuilt by Australians

Gone are the Longbridge conveyers

and HP sauce sign on the tower

Gone is the national cocoa ratio

to match all imports marked European standards

Gone are the icons that made Britain great

The Mini, steel production, some small, some magnate

You always knew where you were with a Marathon

and other sweet-encounters too numerous to mention

And now to top it all it's the turn of Smarties

the rainbow tribe tube of childhood alphabet parties

gleaned from popping pressed plastic lids

the rocket thrusters and castle towers of rich imagination

transferred over to Hamburg - is nothing sacred?

While Britain falls from top hat to boot

What's next for England?

A Scottish P.M.?

Now that would be a hoot!

Check out more from Brendan here and in our Poet's Corner