FLIGHTY LAPTOPS SPREAD TERROR

26-08-2006

Never mind viewing Muslims with suspicion next time you're on a flight, what about that dodgy laptop asks Edward Cameron?


Yesterday's newmade me realise that toughened airport security is a total waste of time, because we're our own worst enemies.

This is aside from the fact that Al-Qaeda terrorised an entire holiday flight from Malaga last week without doing anything, because shock horror 'there was some of them, like, Asians on board'.

Muslims are getting defensive at the moment because they feel they are being targeted for their religion.

Yes I'm afraid they are. But that's because in this current climate statistics (government ones at least)suggest that a suicide bomber is most likely to be a Muslim than anything else.

Next week I predict David Cameron will don a hoodie and tell us to go hug a Muslim in a bid to try and cash in on Islam's understandable annoyance with Labour.

I'm truly sorry for the 99.9 per cent of Muslims who don't want toblowme up on a bus but I'm afraid that when it comes to mass murder of civilians it's some of your brethren who are trying to do it.

Nonetheless I swear I'll stand shoulder to shoulder with you, sit by you on a plane and not pre-judge you, because even though terrorism statistics point the finger at you, simple general statistics about what will most likely kill me on a plane do not.

Apple yesterday recalled laptop computers because the batteries can catch fire. This follows literally hot on the heels of the same announcement by Dell last week.

Because of the tiny stats about Muslims trying to kill me the airline companies try to protect me by putting laptops, which can be turned into bombs, into the hold. There they are concealed throughout the whole flight.

Concealed and prone to spontaneous combustion?

Sit me next to thenervous Arab with a briefcase - I'll take my chances.